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be THAT girl who inspires…

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And then she found her hero staring right back at her in her reflection…

Tj

As I reflect on my year there are a few lessons that I have learned that I want to share with all of you. But before I begin, let’s chat about what your word is for 2022??

2019 my word was Self. This was my year to be selfish and to begin focusing on ME. We have all heard the quote, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, but do we all really listen to that? Nope. We allow others’ needs to come before our own and it’s exhausting. In 2019, I had a lot of self-growth, but this was not easy at all. The guilt I felt daily was hard but I realized that I needed to make a change so I could show up better in all areas of my life.

2020 my word was Intention. I made it a goal to make decisions based more on willful direction. I became more mindful of my decisions. I intentionally created habits, learned to plan more, and became more intentional with my time. This was not an easy year, we can all attest to that. It was dark, it was hard, it brought on anxiety that a lot of us didn’t know how to deal with. It was also a year where I have never been more grateful for my health and my family time. A year that I realized that I needed to live in the moment and let go of the past.

2021 my word was Action. This past year has been a huge year of growth for me and it never would’ve been that way had I not taken action. Here are a few things I completed this year…

This year I successfully completed the 75Hard; a challenge that I had wanted to do for quite awhile. The best part, I was able to do it with my hubby and we crushed it together. That experience gave me the confidence that I can do whatever I put my mind and soul into.

I promoted to District Manager in my Arbonne business! Who knew sharing my love for the products would lead to me actually creating a new business opportunity for myself. I have been part of this company for years as a customer but it wasn’t until early this year when I went all in using the nutrition products during the 75HARD challenge that I made the decision to start working this business. These products have truly made such a difference in my life and I will continue to share what works for me. It feels so good to see other people’s health thrive after trying our products.

I also completed my Health & Life Coach Certification! Something I had been wanting to do for a couple of years but was too afraid to do it because I was nervous about failing the exams. Test anxiety is a thing. LOL! Well, I can say that I did very well on the exams and I passed with flying colours. I also registered for my Personal Training Certification that I will be starting in January!

Lessons I have learned this year…

  1. Your Health is Your Wealth. We have one body to carry us through this life. Why not do everything we can to keep it in tip top shape! Most of us own a vehicle. Would you put oil in the gas tank? No because we know that it will not run properly! Plus, we can purchase a new car if we ruin the one we have. We can’t just go and purchase a new body, so treat it like the precious Queen it is. We are all going to face challenges in our lives, why not be ready to face them both physically and mentally.
  2. Slow the hell down. If nothing else, the last 2 years have taught me that I need to live in the moment and slow down. Life is not a race that we win. What happens at the end if we haven’t cherished the moments in between. If you are living a life of competition, you are going to miss out on all the good stuff.
  3. Connection is a must. We are built for connection. We need connection. This has been huge for me in my life. Connecting with other’s who push me to be better has kept me going. I appreciate the friendships that I have so much. But the most important relationship I have is with myself. Put yourself first. Fall in love with the person that you are and the person you are becoming.
  4. Love people for who they are and where they are at. No one is perfect. No one is going always agree with one another’s choices but loving them and accepting them allows them to feel seen and that’s what we all want.
  5. You do You. Our family motto for this year. I couldn’t love this more.

I would say that 2021 has definitely been a year of good Action and I am not about to stop. I will be launching my Coaching business this year so stay tuned for that! This year is going to be my year to INSPIRE. Inspire other’s to get healthier, to get stronger, and to realize that they are worthy of what they want. It’s time to focus on YOU because you matter. I want to Thank ALL of you who inspire me Every. Single. Day. Bring on 2022 and let’s get inspired together.

I’d love to hear what your word is for 2022 and some lessons you’ve learned in 2021!

be THAT girl who challenges her choices…

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“You owe it to yourself to challenge your choices”

Tj

Have you ever been in the middle of doing something and you start to wonder why you chose to do it? I was working on an assignment from a class I was taking and I had this thought…..why haven’t I been questioning EVERYTHING??? Why haven’t I been questioning my choices throughout my life? We all start out curious. Why don’t we stay curious?

Throughout most of my life I have not been a curious person. In fact, I found it easier to just go with the flow and not ask questions unless I absolutely had to. You know the saying, “ignorance is bliss”, well that was me. I liked living in this so called bliss….so I thought. Just doing what I was conditioned to do. Believing what I was conditioned to believe. Portraying an image of the perfect daughter, wife, mother, and friend. To me, life just seemed easier that way. I looked for anything to support my way of being and found what I needed to feel good about living in that “bliss”. Little did I know that I would one day have to challenge my choices.

In April of 2016, my beliefs were challenged. (More details are in another post… http://www.bethatgirl.ca/blog/be-that-girl-who-shares-her-story/ ) My comfortable life as I knew it was turned upside down. I had to make a choice that would ultimately change everything, not only for myself but for generations that follow. No pressure. LOL! As I pondered what I was going to do, this thought kept popping running through my head…”figure out what you truly believe”. So, for the first time in my life, I actually started to study (approved church literature) about my religion. Crazy huh….39 years of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I never questioned anything about it. I just believed because my family and friends did and I figured it was easier to just keep living what seemed easiest. My testimony was built on the testimony of others. Clearly I didn’t understand what a testimony really was.

Once I started to read more about the prophet who restored the gospel, I knew I couldn’t support that religion any longer. I won’t get into what I read but it was enough for me to know that this was not an organization that I wanted to be a part of anymore. Although this has been one of the hardest choices in my life thus far, I have never regretted the decision I made because I have asked the hard questions. I have challenged my choice. I have found my truth.

My hope is that we all challenge our choices. Ask more questions! I don’t just owe that to myself, but I owe it to my children to question everything. Search for your truth by getting the facts and correct information. We have all heard the quote, “you don’t grow in comfort”. Get uncomfortable and just see what unfolds for you.

be THAT girl who makes discipline her bitch.

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You will NEVER ALWAYS be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined….

75 Days.

75 Days of progress.

75 Days of dedication.

75 Days of becoming.

75 Days of making me as a priority.

75 Days of growth.

75 Days of discipline.

I don’t actually know if I can put into words exactly what this challenge has done for me. In fact, it’s taken me a few weeks to just sit and reflect on what I just accomplished.

For those of you who didn’t follow my journey on my Instagram story, let me just briefly explain what the 75Hard Challenge is.

75 HARD™ IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM. NOT a fitness program!!! This is a program that can change your life … starting from the inside. Are there physical changes? Yes. But trust me when I say the physical changes you see on the outside are a FRACTION of the results you earn by completing 75 HARD. 

  • Drink 1 gallon of water a day
  • Follow a healthy diet (no cheat meals)
  • No alcohol
  • Read 10 pages of a self-help book a day
  • 2 – 45 minute workouts per day and one has to be outside (even when it’s yucky)
  • Take a progress picture every day

If you miss any one of these things or cheat at all…you start again! 

I want to share more of the mental transformation in another blog post. It’s very personal and will take some time to put into words. For now, I would love to share my results of each of the challenges.

DRINK 1 GALLON OF WATER A DAY….1 freaking gallon of water is a shit ton of water!! I usually struggled to get in half of that in a day, so to go from that to 1 gallon was damn hard. I think one of the other struggles was not being able to add anything to your water. I usually added an Arbonne Fizz stick or Mind Health to begin my day. For the first couple of weeks, I thought I would never get used to drinking all of that fluid BUT eventually my body got used to it and it became easy. Now, will I continue to drink that much water. Maybe some days BUT there will be fizz added! Haha!

FOLLOW A HEALTHY DIET….The choice to follow the Arbonne 30 Days to Healthy Living was a no brainer for me. Recently I had decided that I was going to go all in with my Arbonne business. I have been using the products for years and LOVE, not only the products but what the company stands for. If I am going to part of something, it better be something that I fully support! I had tried the Arbonne 30 previously to this challenge but had not fully committed which turned into me using excuse after excuse to only do what I could fit into my lifestyle. (insert face into palm)

Let me give you a rundown on just what the Arbonne 30 is:

  • Avoid the following as these are foods that are generally not beneficial for overall wellbeing: Artificial sweeteners (e.g. sucralose, aspartame)
  • Alcohol
  • Coffee
  • Dairy
  • Wheat- and gluten-containing foods
  • Soy (however, fermented soy such as organic, non-GMO tempeh is an acceptable vegan protein option)

There is obviously more to this program but I won’t go into detail here. I’ll post a link for you to check it out!

30 Days To Healthy Living

https://www.arbonne.com/ca/en/arb/TJAneca/healthy-living/30-days

NO ALCOHOL…holy moly! Didn’t think I could make it that long BUT it was actually easy. Once I made the decision to go forward with the challenge, it was not an issue.

READ 10 PAGES A DAY OF A SELF-HELP BOOK…I am a lover of ALL self-help books…IF they are on audio!! LOL! I actually surprised myself and finished 3 books and started a 4th while doing the challenge. I have fallen in love with holding an actual book in my hands and reading it. I did discover that I need stronger reading glasses! AHHHHH…I’ve reached that age!

I read:

  • Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty ….*****
  • Atomic Habits by James Clear….*****
  • GUT by Giulia Enders….*****
  • Mind-Gut Connection by Emeran Mayer (still working on this one)

TWO 45 MINUTE WORKOUTS A DAY, ONE WORKOUT MUST BE OUTSIDE (EVEN IF IT’S YUCKY)...this one was a bit of a challenge. Since we started our challenge in April, we had fairly good weather. A few crazy days but for the most part we were pretty fortunate! One thing I noticed was after 14 day of 2 workouts, my body was screaming for a break. I was used to 1 workout 5 days a week so this was definitely kicked my ass. I remember a friend of mine who had finished the challenge herself, gave me wonderful advice….Tj, you don’t HAVE TO go hard all of the time, you can do two walks. This here saved my body. When I felt like my body wanted to quit, I slowed down and went for 2 walks.

TAKE A PROGRESS PICTURE EVERYDAY…this here was the BEST! I dreaded it everyday BUT I am so happy that I had those pictures to look back on! Even after 14 days, I could see progress and it helped push me through. I didn’t see the changes when I looked at myself everyday but after 75, it was really cool to see how I had made a difference in my body composition.

I learned a lot about myself during those 75 days. Was it life-changing? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Could I do it again? Yes. Would I do it again? I don’t need to.

be THAT girl who gets to know her parents a little bit better…

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The Greatest Legacy We Can Leave Our Children Is More Happy Memories.

Well….it’s been over a month in quarantine, how is everyone doing? I can honestly say that I have had some good days and some really hard days. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. We all crave connection! It is totally normal and it is a necessity. I hope we are all connecting with our loved ones as often as we can whether it be in our own home, 6 feet away or through some sort of social media.

I wanted to share with you, an evening we planned as a family to interview my parents. I knew some things about their story but I sure didn’t know as much as I thought I did. There are only 3 of us siblings in my family so it is a little easier to coordinate than some of the larger families that I know. We asked our kids to each come up with some questions that they had for their Grandparents. With 18 grandkids that’s quite a few questions. I also found lists of questions off of pinterest that work as well. Once we had that organized, I sent the list of questions to my folks so they could review them before we all sat down together.

We set up our call on an evening that we could all just hang out together through zoom. It was nice to see all of each other’s faces and be able to connect with one another. I sure do miss my family!! Once we all settled in, we started to ask Grandma & Grandpa questions about their life. It was fun to hear how they each grew up, how they met, who’s their favourite kid (obviously ME) (wink, wink). We got to ask additional questions as they would come up. They kept saying…”ask us anything”. The kids did and they loved hearing about their stories. It was a really nice way to spend an evening connecting.

One of my favourite questions was….”What is the most important lesson you have learnt during your life?”

Just love people for who they are and where they are at.

Grandpa & Grandma Harris

Best advice EVER!! There is so much wisdom in this statement. We just need to love humans regardless of their race, religion, or sexual preference. I think sometimes we forget that we are all here just walking each other home (thank you Dr. Jody Carrington for the daily reminder). We are all in this together. This is not a competition or a race where there is only one winner. This is a marathon where the journey is the only thing that matters.

Thank You Mom & Dad for being those humans for us. You have always showed up for us and given us grace when we’ve needed it. You have loved us and supported us even when it has been hard. You are both shining examples to each and every one of us. You are definitely doing your best to help walk each of us home. Love you guys!

be THAT girl that is socially aware

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i’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and your’re not in this world to live up to mine

BRUCE LEE

Day 21 of quarantine….how are you all holding up? For myself, I am okay. I am trying to keep some sort of routine just to help me stay sane. I am so impressed with the amazing teachers out there that have had to readjust to fit the new “curriculum”. Gosh…how lucky are we to have these humans to help hold our littles’ in a time of such chaos. HUGS to all of you doing your very best. I think I can speak for most….THANK YOU SO MUCH! We love and appreciate you all.

Our next lesson for our C.A.L.M Class is on Social Awareness and Social Management. Again…this is an add on once we have become aware of our purpose, our core values, our character, our feelings, and taking responsibility for our behavior and well-being .

SOCIAL AWARENESS is the ability to understand and respond well to the needs of others. This is something that is going to be used everyday in our lives whether it be at work, at school, at a party, at a family function, even social media….we need to be able to “read the room” as some might say. Being able to notice other’s emotions and respond empathically will help us become more aware of what others need or want from us. One thing that I have been working on is learning to manage my expectations of individuals or situations so that I don’t get offended or become disppointed.

I have been noticing, on social media or even when I go to the grocery store, people becoming very defensive and some just down right ass holes to each other! Where there is crisis, there are scared feelings which a lot of the time are presented as anger. This is the time that we all need to be socially aware of what each of us is feeling and try to give each other some grace. Some of us need to make sense of it all. Some of us can’t make sense of it all because it causes too much stress and anxiety! Let us all be aware that we do not think or feel alike so BE KIND! You do not know or understand everyone’s mental state right now. We are all in this together just trying to navigate through this experience. In the words of Ram Dass…”We are all just walking each other home.”

Let’s be the positive influence to and for each other while we manage through this. When we are socially aware of each other’s needs then we can begin to manage ourselves socially and become a positive force to be the change!

Be the change you want to see in the world

Gandhi

be THAT girl who is self-aware

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the start of all growth is the introduction of higher states of conscious awareness…

Leo Tolstoy

Something I’ve learned on my own journey of self-growth is that in order to begin we need to understand what it means to be self-aware. That self-awareness allows us to pivot onto a path of self discovery that we should all be working towards.

Yesterday’s lesson and today’s lesson go hand in hand so I wanted to make sure I had covered both topics before I posted about each one of them. Yesterday we discussed self-awareness and today we built upon that and discussed self-management.

SELF-AWARENESS is the ability to focus on how our thoughts, emotions and actions align with our core values. If you haven’t had a chance to write down your top 10 core values from most important to you and so on (not that any aren’t important), then refer back to my previous post about that. When we are self-aware, we focus on the reality of our behaviour versus the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. Basically we stop trying to convince ourselves that we are someone we’re not. One way to help become more self-aware is to pretend you are looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Really look in the mirror and study what you actually see. We all have our own self-image of ourselves but it is not always the reality of the situation. For example…we might call ourselves OCD when it comes to cleaning our house but in reality, we live in chaos. Don’t be fooled by the image of yourself that you have convinced yourself of being. This is a time to get really honest with ourselves and become better aware of our reality.

Another step to becoming more self-aware is to not ignore our feelings or intuition. The more we ignore that feeling the more anxious and stressed out we become which causes us to feel stuck. I spoke about feeling our feelings a few posts back. If we do not acknowledge those feelings they will not go away. We can learn to repress them but they will resurface at a later time and may become increasingly difficult to deal with causing a major reaction that is hazardous to our health.

We asked our kids to help us list some ways that can help us to become more self-aware

  • Journaling our feelings multiple times a day
    • making sure we journal how we are feeling throughout the day Noticing positive, negative and meh feelings
    • ask yourself, where is this feeling coming from?
  • Recognize when our energy is high, low or meh
    • most likely it will coincide with our feelings and emotions

Once we become more self-aware, we can start to work on our self-management. We begin by taking responsibility of our own behaviour and well-being. One thing that I have learned and live by is, responsibility breeds empowerment. I know we all love that feeling of being empowered to do something. This is why finding balance in my life has been so important to me. Now, when I say find balance that doesn’t mean that each part of my life is going to get equal attention. That is IMPOSSIBLE!! It just simply means that I acknowledge the 4 cornerstones of MY life. Spiritual, Physical, Mental and Social. If I can do one thing a day in each one of these “bubbles” then I feel like I have some balance happening. That is going to look different for all of us.

Again, we asked our kids to give us an example of something that may help them manage themselves….they came up with…

  • Create a Routine
    • having a routine is definitely a key element in helping us create good healthy habits
  • Consistency
    • being consistent is what we, as humans, crave. We are built for boundaries and thrive when we have them.

As much as this situation isn’t ideal, I enjoying the time we have to reconnect with each other. Life get’s so busy and full of “schedules” that sometimes we forget to say NO to things. This has been a great reminder that we could be better at creating a routine where connection is more present.

I hope you are all hanging in there! Keep your heads up and search for the silver lining because there is one friends. Stay safe and Stay home.

be THAT human…

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Racism is the refuge for the IGNORANTS

Changing it up today. be THAT human.

I have to address a problem that is happening in our own neck of the woods friends. I spoke with a friend the other day about an incident that happened to her 19 year old daughter while working in a coffee shop….

A gentleman, who really doesn’t deserve this name but that’s what I’ll call him, goes into his regular coffee shop where he orders a coffee made by one of the sweetest young ladies I know. In previous encounters, they have had great conversations but that day he was different. As she hands him his coffee he says to her, “this is all your fucking fault…your people brought this virus into our country” and then proceeded to leave. The young girl is Asian.

As an Asian girl myself who grew up in a small community where the Asian population was less than 1%, if that, I know all too well what it feels like to be discriminated against. I remember hating my ethnicity and just wanted to be the same race as the majority. That way I wouldn’t stick out and then no one would tease me about my eyes or the colour of my skin. (As a child that made perfect sense to me) After I graduated and moved forward with my life, I embraced all of me that was different and I was grateful for my heritage.

To me, racist comments like the one that was thrown at my dear friend are considered hate crimes. What was said was uncalled for, hurtful and just downright ignorant. THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! EVER!!! EVER!!! EVER!!! It is not okay to shame an innocent young girl that is just trying to do her job and brighten someone’s day. WE ARE A HUMAN RACE made up of all sorts of colour, shapes, & sizes. Should we not be holding space for everyone? Should we not be showing as much kindness and compassion towards our fellow humans? Should we not be lifting each other during such an uncertain whirlwind of emotions? Should we not be comforting those that truly need it? YES WE SHOULD! These are unprecedented times where we need to all stand together UNITED!!

STOP with the name calling! STOP with the vandalism to businesses because they employ Asians! We all bleed the same colour. We all have a heart. We are all the same species. We are all in this together. I know the anger is fueled by fear. It’s okay to be afraid. I think it’s safe to say that we all feel it. So instead of lashing out and hurting others with your words or your fists, remember that HUMANITY IS OUR RACE.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama

Be the change. Be the human that people respect. Be the human that shows acceptance. Be the human that doesn’t see colour. Be the human that your kids can be proud of. Be THAT human.

be THAT girl that feels the feelings

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feel the feeling but don’t become the emotion. acknowledge it, allow it, & release it….

I am writing this on day 4 or quarantine…I’m sure we are all at the point where we have been feeling extremely emotional saying goodbye to our former normal. I know it has been for me and for most of my family & friends. In these uncertain times we start to let our emotions take over which does not serve us, or the people around us, well if we don’t know how to release those emotions. Let’s all be mindful that we need to feel the feelings but becoming the emotion is hazardous to our own health and well-being. Most of us have learned how to suppress our emotions from a very young age. We learn to “get over it” and not deal with that emotion which will absolutely resurface at a later time where we will repeat the same reaction of suppression.

Learning how to process the emotion while feeling the feelings is something that I am still working on. In fact…it’s something that I had to do today. I’m not an expert….let’s just state that fact….but I feel the need to share with my friends what works for me. Take it or leave it. I won’t be offended.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years…feel your feelings. You hear people say that all the time. What does that mean? To me, it means that whatever feeling arises, I need to honor it and just let it take over my body for a while. Let that feeling come over you like a huge wave and feel it. It will be painful and it will make you ugly cry….well, at least it makes me ugly cry. Like I legit look like an Asian Yoda with tears. And even when I’m all cried out then I look like Hulk Hogan took a few rounds outta me and left me with a very swollen face. (I’m sure you get the picture) When we deny our feelings that can cause us to choose undesired or harmful behavior. Which is never good for any of us.

Once we learn to feel those feelings, we need to acknowledge where those feelings are being stored. For example, some feel tension in our muscles, some feel a sharp pain in an undesired place, some eat, some feel it in the gut and some just feel that “heavy” feeling everywhere. For myself, it us usually a heavy feeling felt in my gut or tension in my muscles. This feeling has caused many sleepless nights. Did you know that motion unwinds emotion? For myself, getting myself in the gym and working out has been the best way for me to unwind. I first started hitting the gym to lose weight but soon realized that it was serving my mental and emotional health far beyond my physical health. Some days when I feel especially emotional, I lay on my yoga mat and meditate after my workout. I turn down the lights, lay on my back comfortably, take really deep breaths and I focus on the inhale and exhale. I think about what emotion I am feeling…I acknowledge it, and then in my mind say…”thank you (emotion…whatever it is) good-bye” and I visualize the word of that emotion actually being blown out with each exhale. I can’t explain the peace I feel after I have let go of those pent up emotions. When we are unbalanced it will cause us to be in a very negative mindset which isn’t good for any of us.

I know this all may sound completely silly but I’m just sharing what works for myself. I’m curious what works for you? Feel free to share your ideas…no judgement on my part but I’d love to hear.

Hang in there friends! I will be posting more and more since I have a little more time on my hands. Haha! We are all in this together.

be THAT girl that doesn’t stress over things she cannot change

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don’t stress yourself out with things you can’t control or change…

Well friends….I don’t know about you but I am still trying to wrap my head around our new normal. I think what is so difficult to process is the fact that this is uncharted territory for everyone. No one really knows how to move forward in the midst of this chaos. That can be a very scary time for all of us. So, here are my thoughts on the whole thing. STAY CALM.

A lot has happened in the last week alone and there is still more change coming. We can choose to lose our damn minds and let our thoughts spiral us into a tailspin of panic and depression OR we can calm the fuck down and process what our new normal is going to look like. I feel like this is the time to settle in…work together as a human race and as indivuduals. We are all in this together. We are more than just ourselves, we are a community that spans the earth. We need to be asking ourselves what we can do for each other. How can we help each other get through this epidemic as best we can? What does that look like to you? We can all play a part in the prevention and spread of this virus.

I read a beautiful statement by Kitty O’Meara that made me really think about how I’m going to handle this situation…..

And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art and played games and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

Friends, we cannot change what is happening, but we can sure as hell control our actions moving forward as a human race navigating our new normal. What that looks like is completely up to you. For myself and my family, we will do our part in taking the recommended precautions to help aid in not spreading the virus. We will take this time to connect with each other, to strengthen each other and to support one another. There is strength in UNITY…which begins with U!