be THAT girl that goes all in…

Stop doubting yourself and just go all in!

tj

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am!

A little scared. A little anxious. A little over-whelmed. A little nervous. But so ready.

A while ago I came across a podcast where one of the ladies spoke briefly about 75 hard. I was intrigued so I did a bit more research and loved what I found. This resonated with me on a whole new level. I love a good challenge but this one had me fired up. This one is going to stretch me….especially my mental toughness. I have been making excuse after excuse of why it’s not the right time to do this challenge. Well…those excuses are pure bullshit and I need to beTHATgirl, call myself out on it and go all in!! Keeping promises to myself is something that I hold very dear. It means more to me than anything. I know if I can conquer this program then I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to.

THINK OF THIS AS AN IRONMAN FOR YOUR BRAIN ~ andy frisella

So, what is 75Hard? (www.andyfrisella.com)

THIS IS NOT A FITNESS PROGRAM

75 HARDâ„¢ IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM. If you’re looking for a new fitness program or challenge, this is not it. This is a program that can change your life … starting from the inside. Are there physical changes? Yes! But trust me when I say the physical changes you see on the outside are a FRACTION of the results you can earn by completing 75 HARD. 

  • Drink 1 gallon of water a day
  • Follow a healthy diet (no cheat meals)
  • No alcohol
  • Read 10 pages of a self-help book a day
  • 2 – 45 minute workouts per day and one has to be outside (even when it’s yucky)
  • Take a progress picture every day

If you miss any one of these things or cheat at all…you start again! YIKES! Now, will anyone know if you’ve cheated or missed something? Probably not but this is where that personal integrity comes in. YOU will know and that’s all that matters! At the end of the day you are responsible for YOU.

For myself, the first step is knowing my “why”. So here it is…life is too fucking short to sit back and admire from the sidelines. Trust me on this one, it’s time to start living like each day is a gift. It’s time to get uncomfortable and start stepping into my fears and my limiting beliefs and start using them to fuel me. It’s time for me to take control of my mental toughness because that is what is going to help me throughout my entire life.

Second…”what” do I hope to get out of all of this?

  • SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • SELF-WORTH
  • SELF-ESTEEM
  • SELF-GROWTH
  • SELF-LOVE

There is NOTHING more rewarding than achieving something that you have worked your ass off for. Challenging myself has been pivotal in building my confidence these last few years. Every time I completed one of my self-made challenges the more I started to realize that I can do hard things. Did I always complete them? Nope. I had more failures than wins sometimes but I learned to dig in a little deeper the next time and do better.

I know that this program is going to test me in ways that I probably don’t even realize. It may even push me to the point where I am going to want to give up. I can’t and I won’t. This is for ME and I am going to prove to myself just how much I value ME, love ME, appreciate ME. I am worthy of everything I have ever needed or need and maybe even a few wants!

If you are interested in joining a few of us beginning Monday, April 5th, then let me know so we can cheer each other on! You can follow my journey on my Instagram story! bethatgirl_tjaneca

be THAT girl who inspires others women to connect

CONNECTION is why we’re here; it is what gives us purpose and meaning to our lives

~ brene brown ~
Carrie Doll ~ The Inner Circle Community on Facebook

Today has been one of those days where things are feeling extremely heavy on my heart. I can’t really explain why or even exactly what it is….but they just are. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. A friend of mine suggested that it could be “pandemic burnout” which really resonated with me. I do feel like it could be just that.

Is anyone else feeling this way?

If there is any one thing that I have learned about myself over the last 8 months, is that I need CONNECTION. It was amazing being quarantined with my family for 2 months. What a great time to reconnect and just get to enjoy each other but I needed more. I felt like I needed to connect with other like-minded women that I could draw inspiration from. We were, and still are, going through a lot. Most of us are carrying loads that we have never had to bear. Losing sleep, losing jobs, losing direction, losing loved ones, losing purpose and sadly…losing hope.

This morning I was fortunate enough to get to listen to a live interview between Carrie Doll & Ashley Mielke that was literally all about Hope. It was exactly what I needed today. I have been part of an amazing community that I want to share with all of you. Carrie Doll, who you will all recognize as being one of CTV’s former news anchors here in Edmonton, wanted to create a space for women to connect, network, share ideas, learn, educate and empower. And that is exactly what she did. She created “The Inner Circle Community” on Facebook. I have to tell you that this community has been a game changer for me. I have met so many amazing women that I can honestly say are my friends. We have laughed, we have cried, we have shared and we have healed. We hold space for one another to be courageous and vulnerable. But it is also a space where we can have a lot of fun! Our Friday Virtual Happy Hours were awesome during quarantine. We were introduced to a lot of great restaurants and chefs that taught us how to create some fun dishes, appetizers and of course some fun drinks! We have also met some kick-ass women who are killin it in business. Their interviews have been so inspiring! The stories they have shared with us are incredible. I have to say that my absolute favourite part of being part of this community has been learning that we all have a story to tell and when we share that story with others, it is not only inspiring for the receiver but it is healing for the person sharing it. Fortunately, I was able to be one of those people. With Carrie guiding me, I was able to share a life-changing part of my story. I’m not going to lie….I wanted to shit myself thinking about using my voice. I’ve never felt so nervous, anxious, and vulnerable in my life. But as we chatted, Carrie and the Inner Circle Community wrapped their virtual arms around me and I felt peace come over me….a peace that I had been searching for. I felt free. I felt brave and most importantly, I felt heard.

Friends, if you are looking for a place where you can feel connection with like-minded amazing women then this is the perfect place for you. I share this because I truly believe that being part of this community has helped me grow in so many ways and I want this for you as well. Right now, life is hard and it is heavy but together we can lift each other and help each other thrive. HUGS to all of you today.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/InnerCircleWithCarrieDoll

Carrie also has an amazing podcast with so many more stories. Do yourself a favour and go give it a listen. You will LOVE it. So many inspiring humans!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-inner-circle-with-carrie-doll/id1438898194

be THAT girl who knows her weight is not her worth….

I am an absolute fucking babe and my weight does not define me

Real talk today….

Hands up if you have ever felt fat! {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried a “quick fix diet”? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried throwing up? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you skip meals in hopes that you will lose the weight? {insert my hand going up}

How may of you feel this way right now?

I am going to get real with you all today. Most people don’t know that these are things that I have struggled with. I know you are thinking….as if, you are so skinny. My skin crawls when I hear those words. Just because a person look skinny to someone does not mean they automatically feel that way. The reality is, no matter how thin or curvy we are, we all have our insecurities and struggles. No one is immune to it friends! We are bombarded by it on the daily by media telling us that we need to look a certain way to be attractive.

I was probably in grade 9 when I really started to feel like I was not enough. My acne was horrible, to the point where kids would ask me what was on my face, I was getting my “mature” body in all the wrong places and I had heard from a friend that some boy was grossed out by my back acne. All the fun things! When I hit high school I quit my sports and started partying with my friends on weekends. I remember being told that people could tell I was gaining weight because I was partying so much. So, I decided to try throwing up so that I could still party with my friends on the weekend but not gain weight. Made perfect sense to me. I couldn’t actually make myself do it. I tried and it never worked. I ended up slowing down my partying and I maintained my weight. Still didn’t change the way I started to feel about myself. I felt ugly. I felt fat. I felt worthless.

Fast forward several years….I had babies and my weight fluctuated like a pin ball machine. Obviously to be expected when creating and growing tiny humans in your body. When I hit 30, I had a plan to get in shape and get control of my weight. That would happen every so often when I would feel guilty for eating crap that I knew wasn’t good for me. I wanted to try every fast weight loss pill there was! None worked. As soon as you stop taking them, weight comes back. I would start working out and then stop because I didn’t have enough time. I had 5 kids you know and they took up every waking minute of my day and even some of the sleeping hours. I was just too exhausted. That’s the lie I would tell myself anyways. I could basically talk myself out of anything. The reason I wasn’t invested in my health like I should’ve been was because I didn’t love myself enough to make time for the things that really mattered. I was more concerned that my kids got to do all the things. I put everyone elses’ needs before my own because that is what I was taught. Serve others and worry about yourself last…at least that was the message I was receiving.

Yesterday, I sat down and made a list of what my body does for me:

  • allows me to breathe
  • allows me to create life
  • allows me to be a MOM
  • allows me to think thoughts
  • allows me to walk
  • allows me to speak
  • allows me to sing
  • allows me to dance
  • allows me to see
  • allows me to touch
  • allows me physical activity
  • allows me to feel

I know that this is not everything but seriously…LOOK at what our body can do for us! Now think of this…if your best friend in the whole wide world, gave you these gifts, what would you do for them? I want you to picture one of your very best friends and think about this.

Would you look at them and tell them that they are fat? Would you tell them they are ugly? Would you look at them and tell them they are disgusting? Would you tell them that they need to stop eating the things that make them happy because it makes them look gross?

NEVER EVER EVER!!!!!!

So, why do you tell yourself that? Why do you treat your body, your best friend, that way?

I was listening to an interview between Jen Hatmaker and Hillary McBride, where Hillary had the best suggestion. When we speak about our body as an it, we are objectifying it. When we speak about our body as a Her, we are turning Her into an actual subject. Now, think about that for a minute. If you name your body, it literally changes the way you start thinking about Her. We are wired for connection, give your body a name and connect with Her. Become Her friend! Speak to Her as if she is your bestie.

This past 9 months I have promised myself that I would get healthy. I have been loving my journey. It has not been easy and I have wanted to quit so many times but I know that if I want to be around to see my kids have kids and maybe even their kids have kids, than I need to take control of myself. Over the years I have taken many “before” pictures so I could see the change that I was going to make when I committed to my latest diet and exercise regime. Want to know where they are….I deleted each and every one of them. I never wanted anyone to see how “fat” I was. Ya. Sounds crazy but that’s how I was feeling at the time. Yes sometimes I wish I had them but it is a reminder that in all actuality, those pictures don’t matter. I know how far I’ve come and that’s what matters.

I have ONE life, ONE body, and ONE mind. It is up to ME to make sure I am fueling Her properly! Most days, I do something for my mental health, my physical health and for my nutritional health. What that looks like for me may be different for you but I can tell you that these have helped me become a much happier, stronger, and positive human. I no longer rely on the number on my scale to define who I am and how happy I get to be. I will continue my journey to become even stronger in all areas of my life. I believe my purpose is to help others to see that they are unique and beautiful regardless of size, shape, race, or sexual orientation. Take back your control. Let yourself decide who you are meant to be! Get comfortable in your skin. It is completely up to YOU!

On a side note…I have created an accountability group on Facebook for the ladies if you need a little direction on where to start! It is a great group to help encourage, empower and inspire you to get started and take control of your life. If you have any questions, you can shoot me a message through Messenger or Email, tj@aneca.ca. Always happy to help you!

be THAT girl that is socially aware

i’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and your’re not in this world to live up to mine

BRUCE LEE

Day 21 of quarantine….how are you all holding up? For myself, I am okay. I am trying to keep some sort of routine just to help me stay sane. I am so impressed with the amazing teachers out there that have had to readjust to fit the new “curriculum”. Gosh…how lucky are we to have these humans to help hold our littles’ in a time of such chaos. HUGS to all of you doing your very best. I think I can speak for most….THANK YOU SO MUCH! We love and appreciate you all.

Our next lesson for our C.A.L.M Class is on Social Awareness and Social Management. Again…this is an add on once we have become aware of our purpose, our core values, our character, our feelings, and taking responsibility for our behavior and well-being .

SOCIAL AWARENESS is the ability to understand and respond well to the needs of others. This is something that is going to be used everyday in our lives whether it be at work, at school, at a party, at a family function, even social media….we need to be able to “read the room” as some might say. Being able to notice other’s emotions and respond empathically will help us become more aware of what others need or want from us. One thing that I have been working on is learning to manage my expectations of individuals or situations so that I don’t get offended or become disppointed.

I have been noticing, on social media or even when I go to the grocery store, people becoming very defensive and some just down right ass holes to each other! Where there is crisis, there are scared feelings which a lot of the time are presented as anger. This is the time that we all need to be socially aware of what each of us is feeling and try to give each other some grace. Some of us need to make sense of it all. Some of us can’t make sense of it all because it causes too much stress and anxiety! Let us all be aware that we do not think or feel alike so BE KIND! You do not know or understand everyone’s mental state right now. We are all in this together just trying to navigate through this experience. In the words of Ram Dass…”We are all just walking each other home.”

Let’s be the positive influence to and for each other while we manage through this. When we are socially aware of each other’s needs then we can begin to manage ourselves socially and become a positive force to be the change!

Be the change you want to see in the world

Gandhi