physical health

be THAT girl who knows her weight is not her worth….

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I am an absolute fucking babe and my weight does not define me

Real talk today….

Hands up if you have ever felt fat! {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried a “quick fix diet”? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried throwing up? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you skip meals in hopes that you will lose the weight? {insert my hand going up}

How may of you feel this way right now?

I am going to get real with you all today. Most people don’t know that these are things that I have struggled with. I know you are thinking….as if, you are so skinny. My skin crawls when I hear those words. Just because a person look skinny to someone does not mean they automatically feel that way. The reality is, no matter how thin or curvy we are, we all have our insecurities and struggles. No one is immune to it friends! We are bombarded by it on the daily by media telling us that we need to look a certain way to be attractive.

I was probably in grade 9 when I really started to feel like I was not enough. My acne was horrible, to the point where kids would ask me what was on my face, I was getting my “mature” body in all the wrong places and I had heard from a friend that some boy was grossed out by my back acne. All the fun things! When I hit high school I quit my sports and started partying with my friends on weekends. I remember being told that people could tell I was gaining weight because I was partying so much. So, I decided to try throwing up so that I could still party with my friends on the weekend but not gain weight. Made perfect sense to me. I couldn’t actually make myself do it. I tried and it never worked. I ended up slowing down my partying and I maintained my weight. Still didn’t change the way I started to feel about myself. I felt ugly. I felt fat. I felt worthless.

Fast forward several years….I had babies and my weight fluctuated like a pin ball machine. Obviously to be expected when creating and growing tiny humans in your body. When I hit 30, I had a plan to get in shape and get control of my weight. That would happen every so often when I would feel guilty for eating crap that I knew wasn’t good for me. I wanted to try every fast weight loss pill there was! None worked. As soon as you stop taking them, weight comes back. I would start working out and then stop because I didn’t have enough time. I had 5 kids you know and they took up every waking minute of my day and even some of the sleeping hours. I was just too exhausted. That’s the lie I would tell myself anyways. I could basically talk myself out of anything. The reason I wasn’t invested in my health like I should’ve been was because I didn’t love myself enough to make time for the things that really mattered. I was more concerned that my kids got to do all the things. I put everyone elses’ needs before my own because that is what I was taught. Serve others and worry about yourself last…at least that was the message I was receiving.

Yesterday, I sat down and made a list of what my body does for me:

  • allows me to breathe
  • allows me to create life
  • allows me to be a MOM
  • allows me to think thoughts
  • allows me to walk
  • allows me to speak
  • allows me to sing
  • allows me to dance
  • allows me to see
  • allows me to touch
  • allows me physical activity
  • allows me to feel

I know that this is not everything but seriously…LOOK at what our body can do for us! Now think of this…if your best friend in the whole wide world, gave you these gifts, what would you do for them? I want you to picture one of your very best friends and think about this.

Would you look at them and tell them that they are fat? Would you tell them they are ugly? Would you look at them and tell them they are disgusting? Would you tell them that they need to stop eating the things that make them happy because it makes them look gross?

NEVER EVER EVER!!!!!!

So, why do you tell yourself that? Why do you treat your body, your best friend, that way?

I was listening to an interview between Jen Hatmaker and Hillary McBride, where Hillary had the best suggestion. When we speak about our body as an it, we are objectifying it. When we speak about our body as a Her, we are turning Her into an actual subject. Now, think about that for a minute. If you name your body, it literally changes the way you start thinking about Her. We are wired for connection, give your body a name and connect with Her. Become Her friend! Speak to Her as if she is your bestie.

This past 9 months I have promised myself that I would get healthy. I have been loving my journey. It has not been easy and I have wanted to quit so many times but I know that if I want to be around to see my kids have kids and maybe even their kids have kids, than I need to take control of myself. Over the years I have taken many “before” pictures so I could see the change that I was going to make when I committed to my latest diet and exercise regime. Want to know where they are….I deleted each and every one of them. I never wanted anyone to see how “fat” I was. Ya. Sounds crazy but that’s how I was feeling at the time. Yes sometimes I wish I had them but it is a reminder that in all actuality, those pictures don’t matter. I know how far I’ve come and that’s what matters.

I have ONE life, ONE body, and ONE mind. It is up to ME to make sure I am fueling Her properly! Most days, I do something for my mental health, my physical health and for my nutritional health. What that looks like for me may be different for you but I can tell you that these have helped me become a much happier, stronger, and positive human. I no longer rely on the number on my scale to define who I am and how happy I get to be. I will continue my journey to become even stronger in all areas of my life. I believe my purpose is to help others to see that they are unique and beautiful regardless of size, shape, race, or sexual orientation. Take back your control. Let yourself decide who you are meant to be! Get comfortable in your skin. It is completely up to YOU!

On a side note…I have created an accountability group on Facebook for the ladies if you need a little direction on where to start! It is a great group to help encourage, empower and inspire you to get started and take control of your life. If you have any questions, you can shoot me a message through Messenger or Email, tj@aneca.ca. Always happy to help you!

be THAT girl who keeps a promise to herself & others

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People with good intentions make promises, but people with good character keep them…

Oh promises, promises, promises…..I can literally hear my mama saying these words to me. I don’t even remember what I did (probably nothing because I was an absolute angel. wink wink.), but those words stuck with me and now I use those exact same words in the exact same voice to my very own “perfect” teenagers. Uggghhh. I swore I would never make my kids feel the guilt but guess what…I DO! It is the only way to get shit across to them. Am I right? What I do know, which isn’t much, is that I put a lot of value on keeping a promise. Which is why, I am very intentional about the promises I do make. But when I do, you can count on me keeping it. Nothing chaps my ass more than a broken promise and especially by my loved ones (family or friend). I do have to admit, I am a complete sucker though. When people say sorry, I typically believe them over and over and over. I love to give people the benefit of the doubt. Is that the easier route? Yes. Is it taxing on your mental health? Yes. Should I change my ways…probably.

Nothing feels better though, than being able to keep a promise. To actually follow through when you commit to something. Not only when I follow through for others but also when I follow through for myself. Gosh…now THAT is good for the mental health I tell ya! The more we keep those promises we make to ourselves the better we will feel mentally! Friends, it won’t fix our mental health completely but it can definitely help. I definitely feel like I’m moving forward in the right direction.

So, I decided back in September to stop drinking diet colas. Now that may not seem like a big deal to some of you but that was a huge decision on my part. I’m talking 3-4 Diet Dr. Pepper’s a DAY, sometimes more! I don’t think I need to explain just how bad that was for me. I also decided to start exercising at least 30 minutes 4-5 days a week. That in itself was hard AF! I hated physical activity unless it included wine and some booty shakin with my girl gang. Well….I haven’t had even a sip of cola AND I have up’d my game and am now working out 7 days a week! I started January 2nd with healthier eating, exercise everyday, drinking half my body weight in oz. of water, reading and writing for 15 minutes each a day. FRIENDS!!! I have kept this promise to myself for 23 days so far and it feels soooo good! I feel as though my physical health, mental health and gut health are all aligning. Sure I have days where it’s a struggle…in fact…most days are a struggle to get to all the things but it all comes down to how bad do I want to keep that promise to myself. Prove it to yourself that you can!! Give yourself permission to say NO to things that aren’t getting you closer to your goals!

Like our favouite little ginger badass boss Rachel Hollis says….“What if I just don’t break this promise to myself?” And maybe let’s go a little bit farther with that and say, “What if I just don’t break this promise to myself and to the people that I care about?” Value yourself and others enough to show your good character and don’t break your promise.