courage

be THAT girl who inspires…

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And then she found her hero staring right back at her in her reflection…

Tj

As I reflect on my year there are a few lessons that I have learned that I want to share with all of you. But before I begin, let’s chat about what your word is for 2022??

2019 my word was Self. This was my year to be selfish and to begin focusing on ME. We have all heard the quote, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, but do we all really listen to that? Nope. We allow others’ needs to come before our own and it’s exhausting. In 2019, I had a lot of self-growth, but this was not easy at all. The guilt I felt daily was hard but I realized that I needed to make a change so I could show up better in all areas of my life.

2020 my word was Intention. I made it a goal to make decisions based more on willful direction. I became more mindful of my decisions. I intentionally created habits, learned to plan more, and became more intentional with my time. This was not an easy year, we can all attest to that. It was dark, it was hard, it brought on anxiety that a lot of us didn’t know how to deal with. It was also a year where I have never been more grateful for my health and my family time. A year that I realized that I needed to live in the moment and let go of the past.

2021 my word was Action. This past year has been a huge year of growth for me and it never would’ve been that way had I not taken action. Here are a few things I completed this year…

This year I successfully completed the 75Hard; a challenge that I had wanted to do for quite awhile. The best part, I was able to do it with my hubby and we crushed it together. That experience gave me the confidence that I can do whatever I put my mind and soul into.

I promoted to District Manager in my Arbonne business! Who knew sharing my love for the products would lead to me actually creating a new business opportunity for myself. I have been part of this company for years as a customer but it wasn’t until early this year when I went all in using the nutrition products during the 75HARD challenge that I made the decision to start working this business. These products have truly made such a difference in my life and I will continue to share what works for me. It feels so good to see other people’s health thrive after trying our products.

I also completed my Health & Life Coach Certification! Something I had been wanting to do for a couple of years but was too afraid to do it because I was nervous about failing the exams. Test anxiety is a thing. LOL! Well, I can say that I did very well on the exams and I passed with flying colours. I also registered for my Personal Training Certification that I will be starting in January!

Lessons I have learned this year…

  1. Your Health is Your Wealth. We have one body to carry us through this life. Why not do everything we can to keep it in tip top shape! Most of us own a vehicle. Would you put oil in the gas tank? No because we know that it will not run properly! Plus, we can purchase a new car if we ruin the one we have. We can’t just go and purchase a new body, so treat it like the precious Queen it is. We are all going to face challenges in our lives, why not be ready to face them both physically and mentally.
  2. Slow the hell down. If nothing else, the last 2 years have taught me that I need to live in the moment and slow down. Life is not a race that we win. What happens at the end if we haven’t cherished the moments in between. If you are living a life of competition, you are going to miss out on all the good stuff.
  3. Connection is a must. We are built for connection. We need connection. This has been huge for me in my life. Connecting with other’s who push me to be better has kept me going. I appreciate the friendships that I have so much. But the most important relationship I have is with myself. Put yourself first. Fall in love with the person that you are and the person you are becoming.
  4. Love people for who they are and where they are at. No one is perfect. No one is going always agree with one another’s choices but loving them and accepting them allows them to feel seen and that’s what we all want.
  5. You do You. Our family motto for this year. I couldn’t love this more.

I would say that 2021 has definitely been a year of good Action and I am not about to stop. I will be launching my Coaching business this year so stay tuned for that! This year is going to be my year to INSPIRE. Inspire other’s to get healthier, to get stronger, and to realize that they are worthy of what they want. It’s time to focus on YOU because you matter. I want to Thank ALL of you who inspire me Every. Single. Day. Bring on 2022 and let’s get inspired together.

I’d love to hear what your word is for 2022 and some lessons you’ve learned in 2021!

be THAT girl who challenges her choices…

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“You owe it to yourself to challenge your choices”

Tj

Have you ever been in the middle of doing something and you start to wonder why you chose to do it? I was working on an assignment from a class I was taking and I had this thought…..why haven’t I been questioning EVERYTHING??? Why haven’t I been questioning my choices throughout my life? We all start out curious. Why don’t we stay curious?

Throughout most of my life I have not been a curious person. In fact, I found it easier to just go with the flow and not ask questions unless I absolutely had to. You know the saying, “ignorance is bliss”, well that was me. I liked living in this so called bliss….so I thought. Just doing what I was conditioned to do. Believing what I was conditioned to believe. Portraying an image of the perfect daughter, wife, mother, and friend. To me, life just seemed easier that way. I looked for anything to support my way of being and found what I needed to feel good about living in that “bliss”. Little did I know that I would one day have to challenge my choices.

In April of 2016, my beliefs were challenged. (More details are in another post… http://www.bethatgirl.ca/blog/be-that-girl-who-shares-her-story/ ) My comfortable life as I knew it was turned upside down. I had to make a choice that would ultimately change everything, not only for myself but for generations that follow. No pressure. LOL! As I pondered what I was going to do, this thought kept popping running through my head…”figure out what you truly believe”. So, for the first time in my life, I actually started to study (approved church literature) about my religion. Crazy huh….39 years of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I never questioned anything about it. I just believed because my family and friends did and I figured it was easier to just keep living what seemed easiest. My testimony was built on the testimony of others. Clearly I didn’t understand what a testimony really was.

Once I started to read more about the prophet who restored the gospel, I knew I couldn’t support that religion any longer. I won’t get into what I read but it was enough for me to know that this was not an organization that I wanted to be a part of anymore. Although this has been one of the hardest choices in my life thus far, I have never regretted the decision I made because I have asked the hard questions. I have challenged my choice. I have found my truth.

My hope is that we all challenge our choices. Ask more questions! I don’t just owe that to myself, but I owe it to my children to question everything. Search for your truth by getting the facts and correct information. We have all heard the quote, “you don’t grow in comfort”. Get uncomfortable and just see what unfolds for you.

be THAT girl who shares her story…

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When someone shares with you a piece of their story, they’re giving you a gift.

Tj Aneca

“Babe, I need to talk to you about something”…

Not the words I wanted to hear in that moment that night. I remember it like a broken record in my head. Those 9 words changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. Thirty-nine years, living a life that was working and with that one sentence my whole world flipped. Not how I saw my life playing out at all.

Thinking that he needed to talk to me about the kids, as we lay side by side in the dark as we usually do right before we fall asleep, I asked him “what’s up?” “Teej, I can’t do this anymore.” Silence. “I can’t continue to help lead a congregation when I don’t truly believe that this religion is true.” Silence. “I am leaving the church.” Tears. “If you and the kids decide you want to continue to go, I will support you and go with you but just know that my heart is not there.” More tears.

So many thoughts were swirling around in my head but none of my words would come out. Just tears. I don’t think either of us really slept much that night. You could feel the sad tension between us. In my mind I played out every scenario. We continue to go and I ask him to join us. The kids and I continue to go without him with us. I take the kids and leave. I kick him out. We get a divorce. Weeks went by where we continued to go and put on our brave face. I could see how miserable he was which broke my heart. So, I did what I had taught my young women to do, I questioned.

Now questioning beliefs within some religions is not exactly welcomed. I never had because I was the girl that believed what her parents, friends and leaders said was truth. I just trusted that they knew and that was good enough but those 9 words challenged me. They made me dig deep and go somewhere I had never even considered going.

I remember I was alone that day. I had several hours where I would have absolutely no interruptions. As I sat on my bed with my phone in my hand, I put my hand on my growing belly and made a promise to my baby that I would try to make the best decision I could, not only for him but for the rest of us. I landed on the official church website. As I pondered what to search, I thought about one of the many topics that I had always felt uncomfortable with but was too afraid to question. I’m not going to get into specifics about WHAT I read but what happened next brought me to tears. As I read, I actually couldn’t believe what I was reading. My heart broke. In fact, I think a piece of it actually died. I just sat there in silence, tears streaming down my face. I remember actually saying a prayer out loud pleading for an answer. Asking for a sign to help me in my decision. Looking back, I knew. I knew that that aching feeling in my soul was telling me exactly what I needed to know. In that moment, I knew that this religion was not for us anymore.

I could not imagine life without my best friend in the whole world. The one who holds me when I need holding, the one who humbly corrects me when I’m wrong, the one who has seen me at my worst yet still seems to love me, the one who supports my crazy whims and ideas. The fact that I entertained the idea of letting go of that amazing human definitely opened my eyes. I need to question EVERYTHING! I may not always find the answer. Sometimes I just need to trust ME. Trust my own intuition because most of the time my gut feeling is right. The beauty of it all….this is a gift we all hold. We all know “that feeling” that we try to ignore. Maybe try giving it a chance. You just might find the next chapter in your story.

There is so much more to my story and I plan on sharing it over time. One day, this will be a book. A book titled, “Free To Be That Girl”. A story for my children about my journey and how I discovered my authentic self and my true purpose . This is not easy to write about because I fear hurting people I love but those that truly know me and my heart know that this comes from a place of healing. If there is one thing that I have learned thus far is that I have a gift to share and by allowing myself grace and kindness, I can help others find their true purpose.

be THAT girl who knows her weight is not her worth….

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I am an absolute fucking babe and my weight does not define me

Real talk today….

Hands up if you have ever felt fat! {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried a “quick fix diet”? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you have tried throwing up? {insert my hand going up}

How many of you skip meals in hopes that you will lose the weight? {insert my hand going up}

How may of you feel this way right now?

I am going to get real with you all today. Most people don’t know that these are things that I have struggled with. I know you are thinking….as if, you are so skinny. My skin crawls when I hear those words. Just because a person look skinny to someone does not mean they automatically feel that way. The reality is, no matter how thin or curvy we are, we all have our insecurities and struggles. No one is immune to it friends! We are bombarded by it on the daily by media telling us that we need to look a certain way to be attractive.

I was probably in grade 9 when I really started to feel like I was not enough. My acne was horrible, to the point where kids would ask me what was on my face, I was getting my “mature” body in all the wrong places and I had heard from a friend that some boy was grossed out by my back acne. All the fun things! When I hit high school I quit my sports and started partying with my friends on weekends. I remember being told that people could tell I was gaining weight because I was partying so much. So, I decided to try throwing up so that I could still party with my friends on the weekend but not gain weight. Made perfect sense to me. I couldn’t actually make myself do it. I tried and it never worked. I ended up slowing down my partying and I maintained my weight. Still didn’t change the way I started to feel about myself. I felt ugly. I felt fat. I felt worthless.

Fast forward several years….I had babies and my weight fluctuated like a pin ball machine. Obviously to be expected when creating and growing tiny humans in your body. When I hit 30, I had a plan to get in shape and get control of my weight. That would happen every so often when I would feel guilty for eating crap that I knew wasn’t good for me. I wanted to try every fast weight loss pill there was! None worked. As soon as you stop taking them, weight comes back. I would start working out and then stop because I didn’t have enough time. I had 5 kids you know and they took up every waking minute of my day and even some of the sleeping hours. I was just too exhausted. That’s the lie I would tell myself anyways. I could basically talk myself out of anything. The reason I wasn’t invested in my health like I should’ve been was because I didn’t love myself enough to make time for the things that really mattered. I was more concerned that my kids got to do all the things. I put everyone elses’ needs before my own because that is what I was taught. Serve others and worry about yourself last…at least that was the message I was receiving.

Yesterday, I sat down and made a list of what my body does for me:

  • allows me to breathe
  • allows me to create life
  • allows me to be a MOM
  • allows me to think thoughts
  • allows me to walk
  • allows me to speak
  • allows me to sing
  • allows me to dance
  • allows me to see
  • allows me to touch
  • allows me physical activity
  • allows me to feel

I know that this is not everything but seriously…LOOK at what our body can do for us! Now think of this…if your best friend in the whole wide world, gave you these gifts, what would you do for them? I want you to picture one of your very best friends and think about this.

Would you look at them and tell them that they are fat? Would you tell them they are ugly? Would you look at them and tell them they are disgusting? Would you tell them that they need to stop eating the things that make them happy because it makes them look gross?

NEVER EVER EVER!!!!!!

So, why do you tell yourself that? Why do you treat your body, your best friend, that way?

I was listening to an interview between Jen Hatmaker and Hillary McBride, where Hillary had the best suggestion. When we speak about our body as an it, we are objectifying it. When we speak about our body as a Her, we are turning Her into an actual subject. Now, think about that for a minute. If you name your body, it literally changes the way you start thinking about Her. We are wired for connection, give your body a name and connect with Her. Become Her friend! Speak to Her as if she is your bestie.

This past 9 months I have promised myself that I would get healthy. I have been loving my journey. It has not been easy and I have wanted to quit so many times but I know that if I want to be around to see my kids have kids and maybe even their kids have kids, than I need to take control of myself. Over the years I have taken many “before” pictures so I could see the change that I was going to make when I committed to my latest diet and exercise regime. Want to know where they are….I deleted each and every one of them. I never wanted anyone to see how “fat” I was. Ya. Sounds crazy but that’s how I was feeling at the time. Yes sometimes I wish I had them but it is a reminder that in all actuality, those pictures don’t matter. I know how far I’ve come and that’s what matters.

I have ONE life, ONE body, and ONE mind. It is up to ME to make sure I am fueling Her properly! Most days, I do something for my mental health, my physical health and for my nutritional health. What that looks like for me may be different for you but I can tell you that these have helped me become a much happier, stronger, and positive human. I no longer rely on the number on my scale to define who I am and how happy I get to be. I will continue my journey to become even stronger in all areas of my life. I believe my purpose is to help others to see that they are unique and beautiful regardless of size, shape, race, or sexual orientation. Take back your control. Let yourself decide who you are meant to be! Get comfortable in your skin. It is completely up to YOU!

On a side note…I have created an accountability group on Facebook for the ladies if you need a little direction on where to start! It is a great group to help encourage, empower and inspire you to get started and take control of your life. If you have any questions, you can shoot me a message through Messenger or Email, tj@aneca.ca. Always happy to help you!

be THAT girl that lives her life with intentions

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our intentions create our reality

I have been thinking, and working on, living everyday of my life with intentions. This is definitely not easy. I can attest to that. My New Years word for 2020 is INTENTION. My goal is to make decisions based on willful direction. But first things first friends….you have to find your EMOTIONAL WHY. I listened to a great podcast by Ed Mylett, “Unlocking Your Success Code”, where he talks about his emotional why vs. why. He explains that when you attach your why to an emotion, you are more willing to follow through. Anything that is attached to an emotion is going to have a greater impact. So, this really got me thinkin. What is my emotional why for the intentions I have set? Well, my intention for making healthier food choices is wanting to be at all the special life events for each one of my kiddos. P.S….this was Ed’s as well. One of my intentions for daily reading and writing is for my mind…..as I’m aging, I’m noticing that my mind isn’t as sharp and it scares the hell out of me that I may end up with alzheimers and I never want to forget who my family or friends are. It seems silly but that’s just me keepin it real. I have more intentions and emotional why’s but you get what I’m saying right?!

Once you have your emotional why, then set your intentions by writing them down in a planner of some sort. I love a good old fashioned pen and paper planner but you can also use your phone calendar as well. Once you have manifested your intention, DO IT!! I, personally, like the paper copy so I can physically check off each intention. It just fulfills something in me to see what I accomplished that day and that gives me the drive to go another day. Seeing results of my intentions is the inspiration I need to get through those harder days where I struggle to KEEP MOVING FORWARD (all I can picture when I hear this phrase is Lewis off of Meet The Robinson’s).

So stop living on auto-pilot and start living on purpose…with INTENTION.

be THAT girl that steps into her fear

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“VULNERABILITY is not winning or losing; its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome”

~brene brown~

I can’t even tell you how many times I have let fear control my life. I would say it’s almost daily. In fact, fear is what has held me back from starting this blog! I’ve wanted to create this blog for a while but the fear of people judging me literally stops me in my tracks. I know I shouldn’t care what other people’s opinions are of me but on some level I absolutely do! I think we all do to some extent. That’s just human nature.

Announcing my blog is scary! I fear judgement, I fear rejection and I fear imposter syndrome! So many things run through my head that it almost makes me quit. Here’s the thing though….I’ve decided I’m not going to live my life in fear of what everyone else thinks of me. I’ve lived that way for far too long. Frankly, it’s exhausting. I’m living my life for ME because at the end of the day, I am the only one that I can actually control.

Are your fears holding you back from your passion and what makes your soul sing? I bet they are. Please, for the love of all things holy, do not let your fears drive your happiness! You will waste too much of your precious life. It’s not worth it. Let’s step into this together. Do something today! Even if all you do is manifest your goal, dream, desire…whatever you want to call it. Decide that today is the first day of YOU stepping into what scares you. Don’t feel like you are alone. YOU ARE NOT!! You have a community of women cheering you on….and I am one of them.

So, here we go. Showing up for ourselves. Being seen. Stepping into our fears. Being Vulnerable. And for shit sakes, hopefully not having an anxiety attack in the meantime.

be THAT girl that does the thing

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hello.

Well, I’m doing the thing. The thing that I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m starting a blog. Yup….I’m goin for it. This blog is completely for me. It’s a place to ramble. I have some stuff to say. It won’t always be pretty….there will be some raw real shit on here. And yes…probably some cuss words cause sometimes that’s the only way to get shit across. There may be some cool stuff I just want to share because I like it. I’ll probably highlight other kick-ass women that inspire me. Who knows…the possibilities are endless.

Now look, I’m not a professional anything so take my word as it is. I’m definitely not a writer but I love to do it so I’m doin it….for ME! Maybe you gain something from it or maybe you don’t. That’s ok. I just love to try to empower and connect with other women who are trying to level up! So hopefully that’s what I do with this not-so-professional blog.

So, here I go….hopefully with a few friends that can stand reading my rants and ramblings. Haha!

P.S. There may be spelling mistakes and a whole lot of improper uses of punctuation but just go with it. ok?