Stop getting upset over things that don’t matter with the people that do matter….
I don’t know about you but I know for myself, I am givin all the gratitudes I can to God to the Universe to whoever I need to, to show my appreciation for these people right here. The people in my life that matter. And in case no one has told you today….YOU ALL MATTER, to me, to your family and hopefully to yourself. I’ll tell ya what… I am holdin these people a little closer with the recent tragedy that has rocked our world. One minute they’re here, the next minute they’re gone. It happens that fast.
Trust me when I say….it is not easy to let shit go. These people right here are my why, they are the one’s that fulfill me the most yet these are the one’s that can hurt me the most because I have so much LOVE for each and every one of them. There are days when I’ve said or done things to them, either on purpose or by mistake, that I regret and wish I could take back and vice versa. But, at the end of the day, what really matters? I’ll tell you what matters…YOUR HUMANS, YOUR PEOPLE. You know, the one’s that you would give your life for…like jump in front of a train for. I’ve really been thinking a lot today about how fast my reality could change if something were to happen to any of my humans. Life can change in an instant friends.
So, keep this in mind when they leave your side in the morning….did you hug them? And not a quick little “routine” hug, I’m talking a big ass bear hug. What is the last thing you said to them before they left? Were you upset at each other? Or did you let them know just how much you love them? Or if you didn’t get to see them off, did you text them to tell them how much you appreciate and love them? If not….DO IT!! I always have the best intentions to do this but some days I definitely fall short because I think I have time. Well…I’m wrong. “We have time” is a lie we tell ourselves so we don’t feel the guilt. The only moment we know we have for sure is right now. Don’t waste it holding grudges and getting upset about shit that doesn’t really matter. Let it go and hold those precious moments close with your people. THAT, you will never regret.
People with good intentions make promises, but people with good character keep them…
Oh promises, promises, promises…..I can literally hear my mama saying these words to me. I don’t even remember what I did (probably nothing because I was an absolute angel. wink wink.), but those words stuck with me and now I use those exact same words in the exact same voice to my very own “perfect” teenagers. Uggghhh. I swore I would never make my kids feel the guilt but guess what…I DO! It is the only way to get shit across to them. Am I right? What I do know, which isn’t much, is that I put a lot of value on keeping a promise. Which is why, I am very intentional about the promises I do make. But when I do, you can count on me keeping it. Nothing chaps my ass more than a broken promise and especially by my loved ones (family or friend). I do have to admit, I am a complete sucker though. When people say sorry, I typically believe them over and over and over. I love to give people the benefit of the doubt. Is that the easier route? Yes. Is it taxing on your mental health? Yes. Should I change my ways…probably.
Nothing feels better though, than being able to keep a promise. To actually follow through when you commit to something. Not only when I follow through for others but also when I follow through for myself. Gosh…now THAT is good for the mental health I tell ya! The more we keep those promises we make to ourselves the better we will feel mentally! Friends, it won’t fix our mental health completely but it can definitely help. I definitely feel like I’m moving forward in the right direction.
So, I decided back in September to stop drinking diet colas. Now that may not seem like a big deal to some of you but that was a huge decision on my part. I’m talking 3-4 Diet Dr. Pepper’s a DAY, sometimes more! I don’t think I need to explain just how bad that was for me. I also decided to start exercising at least 30 minutes 4-5 days a week. That in itself was hard AF! I hated physical activity unless it included wine and some booty shakin with my girl gang. Well….I haven’t had even a sip of cola AND I have up’d my game and am now working out 7 days a week! I started January 2nd with healthier eating, exercise everyday, drinking half my body weight in oz. of water, reading and writing for 15 minutes each a day. FRIENDS!!! I have kept this promise to myself for 23 days so far and it feels soooo good! I feel as though my physical health, mental health and gut health are all aligning. Sure I have days where it’s a struggle…in fact…most days are a struggle to get to all the things but it all comes down to how bad do I want to keep that promise to myself. Prove it to yourself that you can!! Give yourself permission to say NO to things that aren’t getting you closer to your goals!
Like our favouite little ginger badass boss Rachel Hollis says….“What if I just don’t break this promise to myself?” And maybe let’s go a little bit farther with that and say, “What if I just don’t break this promise to myself and to the people that I care about?” Value yourself and others enough to show your good character and don’t break your promise.
“find a group of women who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life”
I’ve always wanted to be THAT girl that empowers other women to be amazing. I just love how it makes me feel. I love being that girl in someone else’s corner cheering her on because I’ve had that. I truly believe that friendship over competition wins every frickin time!
I have always wanted to create a community where there is no judgement. Where everyone feels like they have a seat at the table. A place where you walk away feeling like your cup was filled and you are ready to take on your life! There is nothing more frustrating and draining than listening to other women talk negatively about other amazing women who are struggling or are different than us. Those are not my people and I hope those are not your people as well.
I can confidently say that I have such a fantastic tribe of women around me that I feel are going in the same direction. We may have our own paths that we are taking but we are all trying to level up and become the very best versions of ourselves. I love that each one of us has a different journey and has something different to offer. Strength lies in differences, not in similarities. That is the beauty of humanity. We all come from a diverse background and have a different story to tell but if we include each other on the way to our destination and value who they are, we could actually help make a change in each others lives.
Here’s a story….this is how I got the name for my blog. I threw out a question quite a few months ago on Facebook, “If I was to start a blog what would the name be?” and had some really great feedback but nothing was resonating with me. I came across a quote on Pinterest that kinda grabbed my attention but didn’t quite give me that “hell ya!!” moment. Fast forward a few months later, we had a meeting for The Urban Farmwife with our little team. We lunched and wined and had a great visit. That evening one of our gang sent me a quote that said, “BE THAT GIRL WHO ROOTS FOR THE OTHER GIRL, TELLS A STRANGER HER HAIR LOOKS AMAZING AND ENCOURAGES OTHER WOMEN TO BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES AND THEIR DREAMS” BOOM!! My mind started to go in so many directions! From that moment on, I knew that was the name I was looking for. So, THANK YOU Anais…you inspired me and I will be forever grateful. Friends…find your tribe and love them hard. You’ve heard that a million times but that’s because it’s true.
I have been thinking, and working on, living everyday of my life with intentions. This is definitely not easy. I can attest to that. My New Years word for 2020 is INTENTION. My goal is to make decisions based on willful direction. But first things first friends….you have to find your EMOTIONAL WHY. I listened to a great podcast by Ed Mylett, “Unlocking Your Success Code”, where he talks about his emotional why vs. why. He explains that when you attach your why to an emotion, you are more willing to follow through. Anything that is attached to an emotion is going to have a greater impact. So, this really got me thinkin. What is my emotional why for the intentions I have set? Well, my intention for making healthier food choices is wanting to be at all the special life events for each one of my kiddos. P.S….this was Ed’s as well. One of my intentions for daily reading and writing is for my mind…..as I’m aging, I’m noticing that my mind isn’t as sharp and it scares the hell out of me that I may end up with alzheimers and I never want to forget who my family or friends are. It seems silly but that’s just me keepin it real. I have more intentions and emotional why’s but you get what I’m saying right?!
Once you have your emotional why, then set your intentions by writing them down in a planner of some sort. I love a good old fashioned pen and paper planner but you can also use your phone calendar as well. Once you have manifested your intention, DO IT!! I, personally, like the paper copy so I can physically check off each intention. It just fulfills something in me to see what I accomplished that day and that gives me the drive to go another day. Seeing results of my intentions is the inspiration I need to get through those harder days where I struggle to KEEP MOVING FORWARD (all I can picture when I hear this phrase is Lewis off of Meet The Robinson’s).
So stop living on auto-pilot and start living on purpose…with INTENTION.
“VULNERABILITY is not winning or losing; its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome”
I can’t even tell you how many times I have let fear control my life. I would say it’s almost daily. In fact, fear is what has held me back from starting this blog! I’ve wanted to create this blog for a while but the fear of people judging me literally stops me in my tracks. I know I shouldn’t care what other people’s opinions are of me but on some level I absolutely do! I think we all do to some extent. That’s just human nature.
Announcing my blog is scary! I fear judgement, I fear rejection and I fear imposter syndrome! So many things run through my head that it almost makes me quit. Here’s the thing though….I’ve decided I’m not going to live my life in fear of what everyone else thinks of me. I’ve lived that way for far too long. Frankly, it’s exhausting. I’m living my life for ME because at the end of the day, I am the only one that I can actually control.
Are your fears holding you back from your passion and what makes your soul sing? I bet they are. Please, for the love of all things holy, do not let your fears drive your happiness! You will waste too much of your precious life. It’s not worth it. Let’s step into this together. Do something today! Even if all you do is manifest your goal, dream, desire…whatever you want to call it. Decide that today is the first day of YOU stepping into what scares you. Don’t feel like you are alone. YOU ARE NOT!! You have a community of women cheering you on….and I am one of them.
So, here we go. Showing up for ourselves. Being seen. Stepping into our fears. Being Vulnerable. And for shit sakes, hopefully not having an anxiety attack in the meantime.
Well, I’m doing the thing. The thing that I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m starting a blog. Yup….I’m goin for it. This blog is completely for me. It’s a place to ramble. I have some stuff to say. It won’t always be pretty….there will be some raw real shit on here. And yes…probably some cuss words cause sometimes that’s the only way to get shit across. There may be some cool stuff I just want to share because I like it. I’ll probably highlight other kick-ass women that inspire me. Who knows…the possibilities are endless.
Now look, I’m not a professional anything so take my word as it is. I’m definitely not a writer but I love to do it so I’m doin it….for ME! Maybe you gain something from it or maybe you don’t. That’s ok. I just love to try to empower and connect with other women who are trying to level up! So hopefully that’s what I do with this not-so-professional blog.
So, here I go….hopefully with a few friends that can stand reading my rants and ramblings. Haha!
P.S. There may be spelling mistakes and a whole lot of improper uses of punctuation but just go with it. ok?