be THAT girl who sits with it….

sit with it

sit with it

sit with it

Even though you want to run. Even though it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.

Sit with it. Feel it. Heal it.

I want it to be over.

I want to feel normal again. And not the “new normal” because this is NOT FUCKING NORMAL!!

I want to hug my friends in public and not feel judged.

I want to let my kids go hang out with their friends without guilt.

I want my kids to go to school and experience actual school.

I want my toddler to know that wearing a mask isn’t normal.

I want to go shopping and be able to smile at people.

I want to be able to hug my brother and his family!!!

These thoughts have taken over my mind and my body these past few months and I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’ve been feeling sad. Lonely in a way that I’ve never felt….ever. I’ve lost hope that we will never get out of this state of emergency. I feel like I am carrying boulders on my shoulders. Everything has felt hard and heavy. Most of the time I don’t even know why I’m upset but I cry. I hear people say, “Things could be way worse”, and I want to throat punch them so they stop talking. No shit sherlock…we all know that but don’t downplay what is happening. It’s hard!!

I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Many of my friends and family have expressed that similar thoughts and feelings have shown up in their lives as well. This pandemic is a lot to process. None of us have ever had to navigate life through, what seems like a never-ending pandemic! This is tough. And I think we all need to acknowledge that. We need to sit with our shit! We need to give ourselves permission to feel all the feelings that are happening because this situation we are in IS SO NOT NORMAL!

With that being said, this is not a place where I really want to stay. It’s not comfortable nor does it support the kind of life I want for myself and my family. I remember reading something by Tony Robbins where he talks about changing your state of mind. “State of Mind” is defined as the quality of one’s consciousness as it relates to the outside world, as well as the perception of their inner thoughts and emotions. He states, when you’re in control of your state of mind, you’re the master of your emotions and you understand that life is happening for you, not to you. THIS right here….hit me like a ton of bricks! I do not have to stay stuck! I do not have to allow a constant stream of negativity into my thoughts! I do not have to accept that my emotions are out of my control!

I have been trying to really hard the last few weeks to take my power back and change my state of mind. I’m not saying this is the answer for everyone. Our mental health is so so important and if you are suffering from depression and or anxiety, you should go see a health care professional and seek medical help. I just wanted to share what has been working for me.

  1. MEDITATION: I used to think that this was for weirdos. Not sure why, but I did. Needless to say, I guess I am one of those weirdos because I LOVE it!! First, I downloaded the “Insight Timer” app on my phone. I love this app because you can choose the length of meditation you’d like to do and it gives you many options. There are a lot of free ones on there to try. As soon as I open my eyes I grab my phone, get comfy and put on my morning meditation. Meditation is a great way to begin your day because it has been found to release feel-good chemicals such as endorphins and serotonin.
  2. GRATITUDES: By journaling what you are grateful for each day, it starts your day on a positive note! You can start with one or ten things you are grateful for, it is up to you. As soon as I am finished my morning meditation I grab my journal beside my bed and get writing.
  3. READING: I have never been a huge reader but I do love to read. My preferred books include self-growth and biographies. I recommend choosing books that bring you joy and happiness! Even 5 minutes of reading a day can help change your state!
  4. MOVEMENT: Any type of movement can change your state. Even sitting up straight with your shoulders back can improve your state. Just move! Make it a goal to start with just 5 minutes and then add a minute everyday. I promise that you will feel better! I hated…like hated working out but I made it a goal to do it at least 5 days a week starting with just a few minutes a day and now it is such a habit that I crave it even on my “rest” days. My body loves the rush of endorphins it gets from a good sweat sesh!

These are just a few suggestions that have been working for me. If you have a routine of what works for you then keep doing it and share it with others! I know I’d love to hear what works for you!

I want each and every one of you to know that we are all in this together. The more we talk about how we are feeling, the more we realize that we are not alone. I’m going to reiterate that this nightmare we are all living right now is NOT NORMAL nor will it ever be normal. This is merely a chapter in our own novel and we are the authors! We may not be able to control what is happening but we can definitely control US.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

WE CARE ABOUT YOU.

YOU ARE LOVED.

YOU MATTER.

YOU ARE STRONG.

YOU ARE AMAZING.

YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

Take your power back and change your state of mind. If you can change your state of mind, you can change your life.

be THAT girl who enjoys the journey…

Find Joy In The Journey.

It has been a few minutes since I have hit these keys….well I’m back.

The other night we had a family movie night and watched “Soul” on Disney Plus. What a great show! Have you seen it yet? If not, you should. That night, I was up late having a fabulous discussion within my own head while everyone else was fast asleep. Haha! Do any of you do that or is it just me? Those are some of the best conversations I’ve ever had! As I lay there discussing the movie with Tj, I had so many thoughts swirling around in my head. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to wake up the fam so I made mental notes…which did not stick like I wanted them to because I’m getting old and my mind is not what it used to be when it comes to remembering anything!

The next morning, my girls and I ran some errands together which gave us time in the car to discuss the movie! I love car rides with kids…it is the best time for chats! They each shared what they thought the movie was about. At first we were all confused thinking that this movie was going to be about music and how you feel it in your soul but we were so wrong! It was more than that. Their take-away from the film was that you need to LIVE everyday and through living you will find your purpose. Can you imagine how beautiful life would be if we allowed ourselves to do that? To live in each moment of each day.

We have all heard the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Life is a journey, not a destination”….correct? But have you accepted that? I believe we set certain “destinations” as the finish line but when we get there, we discover that making it didn’t fill the void we thought it would fill. How may of us say to ourselves…when I do “_____”, I will be happy? When I make this much money, I will be happy. You will feel a brief moment of joy but will it last? Maybe, but I’m going to guess probably not. So, what will bring us joy and happiness? For myself, it’s the journey. Living each day with intention. If we are genuinely valuing ourselves, valuing others, and adding value to each other’s lives then I truly believe we will create a purpose for ourselves. Get living and your purpose will show up.

I love this part of the film….

Dorothea: What’s wrong teach?
Joe (Main Character): It’s just I’ve been waiting on this day for my entire life. I thought I’d feel different.
Dorothea: I heard this story about a fish. He swims up to this older fish and says, “I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.” “The ocean?,” says the older fish, “that’s what you’re in right now.” “This?” says the younger fish, “This is water. What I want is the ocean.”

Sometimes we take our days for granted. What you are searching for is right where you are. So, open your eyes and enjoy the journey my friends.