be THAT girl that feels the feelings

feel the feeling but don’t become the emotion. acknowledge it, allow it, & release it….

I am writing this on day 4 or quarantine…I’m sure we are all at the point where we have been feeling extremely emotional saying goodbye to our former normal. I know it has been for me and for most of my family & friends. In these uncertain times we start to let our emotions take over which does not serve us, or the people around us, well if we don’t know how to release those emotions. Let’s all be mindful that we need to feel the feelings but becoming the emotion is hazardous to our own health and well-being. Most of us have learned how to suppress our emotions from a very young age. We learn to “get over it” and not deal with that emotion which will absolutely resurface at a later time where we will repeat the same reaction of suppression.

Learning how to process the emotion while feeling the feelings is something that I am still working on. In fact…it’s something that I had to do today. I’m not an expert….let’s just state that fact….but I feel the need to share with my friends what works for me. Take it or leave it. I won’t be offended.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years…feel your feelings. You hear people say that all the time. What does that mean? To me, it means that whatever feeling arises, I need to honor it and just let it take over my body for a while. Let that feeling come over you like a huge wave and feel it. It will be painful and it will make you ugly cry….well, at least it makes me ugly cry. Like I legit look like an Asian Yoda with tears. And even when I’m all cried out then I look like Hulk Hogan took a few rounds outta me and left me with a very swollen face. (I’m sure you get the picture) When we deny our feelings that can cause us to choose undesired or harmful behavior. Which is never good for any of us.

Once we learn to feel those feelings, we need to acknowledge where those feelings are being stored. For example, some feel tension in our muscles, some feel a sharp pain in an undesired place, some eat, some feel it in the gut and some just feel that “heavy” feeling everywhere. For myself, it us usually a heavy feeling felt in my gut or tension in my muscles. This feeling has caused many sleepless nights. Did you know that motion unwinds emotion? For myself, getting myself in the gym and working out has been the best way for me to unwind. I first started hitting the gym to lose weight but soon realized that it was serving my mental and emotional health far beyond my physical health. Some days when I feel especially emotional, I lay on my yoga mat and meditate after my workout. I turn down the lights, lay on my back comfortably, take really deep breaths and I focus on the inhale and exhale. I think about what emotion I am feeling…I acknowledge it, and then in my mind say…”thank you (emotion…whatever it is) good-bye” and I visualize the word of that emotion actually being blown out with each exhale. I can’t explain the peace I feel after I have let go of those pent up emotions. When we are unbalanced it will cause us to be in a very negative mindset which isn’t good for any of us.

I know this all may sound completely silly but I’m just sharing what works for myself. I’m curious what works for you? Feel free to share your ideas…no judgement on my part but I’d love to hear.

Hang in there friends! I will be posting more and more since I have a little more time on my hands. Haha! We are all in this together.

be THAT girl that doesn’t stress over things she cannot change

don’t stress yourself out with things you can’t control or change…

Well friends….I don’t know about you but I am still trying to wrap my head around our new normal. I think what is so difficult to process is the fact that this is uncharted territory for everyone. No one really knows how to move forward in the midst of this chaos. That can be a very scary time for all of us. So, here are my thoughts on the whole thing. STAY CALM.

A lot has happened in the last week alone and there is still more change coming. We can choose to lose our damn minds and let our thoughts spiral us into a tailspin of panic and depression OR we can calm the fuck down and process what our new normal is going to look like. I feel like this is the time to settle in…work together as a human race and as indivuduals. We are all in this together. We are more than just ourselves, we are a community that spans the earth. We need to be asking ourselves what we can do for each other. How can we help each other get through this epidemic as best we can? What does that look like to you? We can all play a part in the prevention and spread of this virus.

I read a beautiful statement by Kitty O’Meara that made me really think about how I’m going to handle this situation…..

And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art and played games and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

Friends, we cannot change what is happening, but we can sure as hell control our actions moving forward as a human race navigating our new normal. What that looks like is completely up to you. For myself and my family, we will do our part in taking the recommended precautions to help aid in not spreading the virus. We will take this time to connect with each other, to strengthen each other and to support one another. There is strength in UNITY…which begins with U!

be THAT girl that let’s go of shit that doesn’t matter

Stop getting upset over things that don’t matter with the people that do matter….

I don’t know about you but I know for myself, I am givin all the gratitudes I can to God to the Universe to whoever I need to, to show my appreciation for these people right here. The people in my life that matter. And in case no one has told you today….YOU ALL MATTER, to me, to your family and hopefully to yourself. I’ll tell ya what… I am holdin these people a little closer with the recent tragedy that has rocked our world. One minute they’re here, the next minute they’re gone. It happens that fast.

Trust me when I say….it is not easy to let shit go. These people right here are my why, they are the one’s that fulfill me the most yet these are the one’s that can hurt me the most because I have so much LOVE for each and every one of them. There are days when I’ve said or done things to them, either on purpose or by mistake, that I regret and wish I could take back and vice versa. But, at the end of the day, what really matters? I’ll tell you what matters…YOUR HUMANS, YOUR PEOPLE. You know, the one’s that you would give your life for…like jump in front of a train for. I’ve really been thinking a lot today about how fast my reality could change if something were to happen to any of my humans. Life can change in an instant friends.

So, keep this in mind when they leave your side in the morning….did you hug them? And not a quick little “routine” hug, I’m talking a big ass bear hug. What is the last thing you said to them before they left? Were you upset at each other? Or did you let them know just how much you love them? Or if you didn’t get to see them off, did you text them to tell them how much you appreciate and love them? If not….DO IT!! I always have the best intentions to do this but some days I definitely fall short because I think I have time. Well…I’m wrong. “We have time” is a lie we tell ourselves so we don’t feel the guilt. The only moment we know we have for sure is right now. Don’t waste it holding grudges and getting upset about shit that doesn’t really matter. Let it go and hold those precious moments close with your people. THAT, you will never regret.