be THAT girl that communicates effectively

the worst distance between two people is misunderstanding…

How many times have we heard, or repeated, that “communication is key”. I find the way that people communicate with each other to be quite fascinating! Quarantining in a home with 8 people for an extended amount of time is going to prove itself challenging if we don’t understand how each one of us communicates and then receives that communication. We are definitely going to have a few misunderstandings if we don’t become better communicators.

Today in our C.A.L.M Class with the parentals, we discussed 7 essential elements of communication skills. We wanted to build upon our topic yesterday of “What is our purpose and what are our core values”. We feel that if we know each other’s core values then that helps us to better understand the WHY in others choices.

So, here is our list of the 7 Essential Elements of communication skills…FYI…we did not make these up. I found them online.

  • Listening
  • Non-Verbal Communication
  • Being Clear
  • Being Concise
  • Being Confident
  • Being Personable
  • Being Patient

Listening is such an important skill when it comes to communication. This is something that I think I do well for the most part but could always do better. There is nothing more frustrating in a conversation than someone who is not 100% present. In order to fully understand someone and what they are conveying, we need to be fully engaged in our conversation. It shows the other person that you respect their time and what they have to say….even if it is not what you want to be talking about.

Non-verbal communication…now according to my kids, I am the master at this one. LOL! Apparently they can quickly tell when I am upset because I am more aggressive when I do my “angry” clean! Who knew?! And let’s be honest, what Mom doesn’t have the “I dare You” stare nailed down. Body language can definitely say a lot through our posture, gestures and our eye movements.

The next two are pretty similar…being clear and being concise. When choosing our words we need to make sure we are choosing the best words to deliver a message that’s easy to understand. That hardest conversations are the one’s where you walk away going, “what did they just ask me or what was it that they are trying to tell me?”

Being Confident. This is something I have struggled with my ENTIRE life. I was painfully shy as a child and into my teen years. I started to come out of my shell a bit when I met Awesome but even then it was only because I trusted him . I felt comfortable and safe. To this day, I still struggle in this department but not even close to where I used to be. I have worked hard on my self-worth through personal growth to get where I am today. I have also surrounded myself with humans that accept me for who I am so it’s easier to be confident when I have their support.

Being Personable. I know we all know THAT person that is super personable in our lives. The one where you just crave being in their presence. The one who greets you with a smile and a happy tone in their voice. The one who exudes light and love. Now, think about how that makes you feel….now go make someone in your household feel that way the next time you see them. Since we are all quarantined with our families, this is a perfect time to practice it. As soon as you get up….give your loved ones a big smile with a friendly tone when you say “GOOD MORNING (insert name)!” I bet you will instantly be able to see their body language change….and if not, it’ll change how you feel for the better anyways so it’s a win-win!

Being Patient. This one can go both ways. So, being patient when listening to a story that you have absolutely no interest in hearing or being patient when trying to convey a message. I find sometimes people can speak too fast because they are nervous which makes it hard to listen to. I even find at times when I get excited and have too many thoughts going through my head that they come out all messed up and then everyone is confused…including myself! Hahaha! It is important to be composed and not rush when you are trying to get your message across for effective communication.

Going through our list and having a discussion about each element was interesting. Each kid had a different story that they could share so that we could understand where the communication break-down took place. What I think I’ve learned from our discussion is that we need to try to do our best by using these key elements to communicate with each other. We need to think about what our intention is behind our message and what result we are trying to create. In saying that….we CANNOT control how that person is going to receive our message and what their reaction is going to be. We can only control OURSELVES.

I hope you are all doing okay! I am definitely missing being able to meet up with friends and family. I love to be social! If you see or know of someone struggling, let them know how much you care and ask what you can do to help them. Zoom coffee calls or zoom dates are a fun way to stay connected without spreading the virus! I encourage you all to hop on and try it.

STAY SAFE!

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